Sir Andrew Aguecheek Sir Toby's foolish companion and hapless rival for Olivia.
Comedy · Twelfth Night

Sir Andrew Aguecheek's lines in Twelfth Night

90 speeches in 8 scenes, with cues

memorizeshakespeare.com/plays/twelfth-night/character/sir-andrew-aguecheek/lines

23 speeches

Rehearse this scene 23 speeches
Sir Toby Belch With drinking healths to my niece: I'll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria: he's a coward and a coystrill that will not drink to my niece till his brains turn o' the toe like a parish-top. What, wench! Castiliano vulgo! for here comes Sir Andrew Agueface.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch!
Sir Toby Belch Sweet Sir Andrew!
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Bless you, fair shrew.
Sir Toby Belch Accost, Sir Andrew, accost.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. What's that?
Sir Toby Belch My niece's chambermaid.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Good Mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance.
Maria My name is Mary, sir.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Good Mistress Mary Accost,--
Sir Toby Belch You mistake, knight; 'accost' is front her, board her, woo her, assail her.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of 'accost'?
Sir Toby Belch An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand?
Maria Sir, I have not you by the hand.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Marry, but you shall have; and here's my hand.
Maria Now, sir, 'thought is free:' I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar and let it drink.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Wherefore, sweet-heart? what's your metaphor?
Maria It's dry, sir.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Why, I think so: I am not such an ass but I can keep my hand dry. But what's your jest?
Maria A dry jest, sir.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Are you full of them?
Sir Toby Belch O knight thou lackest a cup of canary: when did I see thee so put down?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Never in your life, I think; unless you see canary put me down. Methinks sometimes i have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has: but i am a great eater of beef and I believe that does harm to my wit.
Sir Toby Belch No question.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby.
Sir Toby Belch Pourquoi, my dear knight?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. What is 'Pourquoi'? do or not do? or I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the arts!
Sir Toby Belch Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Why, would that have mended my hair?
Sir Toby Belch Past question; for thou seest it will not curl by nature.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. But it becomes me well enough, does't not?
Sir Toby Belch Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs and spin it off.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby: your niece will not be seen; or if she be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the count himself here hard by woos her.
Sir Toby Belch Thou needst not have ... She'll none o' the count: she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear't. Tut, there's life in't, man.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the strangest mind i' the world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.
Sir Toby Belch Art thou good at these kickshaws, knight?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the degree of my betters; and yet I will not compare with an old man.
Sir Toby Belch What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Faith, I can cut a caper.
Sir Toby Belch And I can cut the mutton to't.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. And I think I have the back-trick simply as strong as any man in Illyria.
Sir Toby Belch My very walk should be a jig; I would not so much as make water but in a sink-a-pace. What dost thou mean? Is it a world to hide virtues in? I did think, by the excellent constitution of thy leg, it was formed under the star of a galliard.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Ay, 'tis strong, and it does indifferent well in a flame-coloured stock. Shall we set about some revels?
Sir Toby Belch What shall we do else? were we not born under Taurus?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Taurus! That's sides and heart.

37 speeches

Rehearse this scene 25 speeches
Sir Toby Belch Approach, Sir Andrew: not to be abed after midnight is to be up betimes; and 'diluculo surgere,' thou know'st,--
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Nay, my troth, I know not: but I know, to be up late is to be up late.
Sir Toby Belch A false conclusion: I hate it as an unfilled can. To be up after midnight and to go to bed then, is early: so that to go to bed after midnight is to go to bed betimes. Does not our life consist of the four elements?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Faith, so they say; but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking.
Sir Toby Belch Thou'rt a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink. Marian, I say! a stoup of wine!
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Here comes the fool, i' faith.
Sir Toby Belch Welcome, ass. Now let's have a catch.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg, and so sweet a breath to sing, as the fool has. In sooth, thou wast in very gracious fooling last night, when thou spokest of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians passing the equinoctial of Queubus: 'twas very good, i' faith. I sent thee sixpence for thy leman: hadst it?
Clown I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose is no whipstock: my lady has a white hand, and the Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Excellent! why, this is the best fooling, when all is done. Now, a song.
Sir Toby Belch Come on; there is sixpence for you: let's have a song.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. There's a testril of me too: if one knight give a--
Sir Toby Belch A love-song, a love-song.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Ay, ay: I care not for good life.
Clown [Sings]O mistress mine, where are you roaming? O, stay and hear; your true love's coming, That can sing both high and low: Trip no further, pretty sweeting; Journeys end in lovers meeting, Every wise man's son doth know.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Excellent good, i' faith.
Clown [Sings]What is love? 'tis not hereafter; Present mirth hath present laughter; What's to come is still unsure: In delay there lies no plenty; Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty, Youth's a stuff will not endure.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight.
Sir Toby Belch A contagious breath.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Very sweet and contagious, i' faith.
Sir Toby Belch To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion. But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? shall we rouse the night-owl in a catch that will draw three souls out of one weaver? shall we do that?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. An you love me, let's do't: I am dog at a catch.
Clown By'r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Most certain. Let our catch be, 'Thou knave.'
Clown 'Hold thy peace, thou knave,' knight? I shall be constrained in't to call thee knave, knight.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. 'Tis not the first time I have constrained one to call me knave. Begin, fool: it begins 'Hold thy peace.'
Clown I shall never begin if I hold my peace.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Good, i' faith. Come, begin.
Clown Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Ay, he does well enough if he be disposed, and so do I too: he does it with a better grace, but I do it more natural.
Maria Go shake your ears.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. 'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's a-hungry, to challenge him the field, and then to break promise with him and make a fool of him.
Maria Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. O, if I thought that I'd beat him like a dog!
Sir Toby Belch What, for being a puritan? thy exquisite reason, dear knight?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason good enough.
Sir Toby Belch Excellent! I smell a device.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I have't in my nose too.
Maria My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. And your horse now would make him an ass.
Maria Ass, I doubt not.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. O, 'twill be admirable!
Sir Toby Belch Good night, Penthesilea.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Before me, she's a good wench.
Sir Toby Belch She's a beagle, true-bred, and one that adores me: what o' that?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I was adored once too.
Sir Toby Belch Let's to bed, knight. Thou hadst need send for more money.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. If I cannot recover your niece, I am a foul way out.
Sir Toby Belch Send for money, knight: if thou hast her not i' the end, call me cut.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. If I do not, never trust me, take it how you will.

Rehearse this scene 12 speeches
Sir Toby Belch To anger him we'll have the bear again; and we will fool him black and blue: shall we not, Sir Andrew?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. An we do not, it is pity of our lives.
Fabian O, peace! Contemplation makes a rare turkey-cock of him: how he jets under his advanced plumes!
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. 'Slight, I could so beat the rogue!
Sir Toby Belch Ah, rogue!
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Pistol him, pistol him.
Malvolio There is example for't; the lady of the Strachy married the yeoman of the wardrobe.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Fie on him, Jezebel!
Malvolio 'Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a foolish knight,'--
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. That's me, I warrant you.
Malvolio 'One Sir Andrew,'--
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I knew 'twas I; for many do call me fool.
Malvolio By my life, this is my lady's hand these be her very C's, her U's and her T's and thus makes she her great P's. It is, in contempt of question, her hand.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Her C's, her U's and her T's: why that?
Sir Toby Belch I could marry this wench for this device.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. So could I too.
Sir Toby Belch And ask no other dowry with her but such another jest.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Nor I neither.
Sir Toby Belch Wilt thou set thy foot o' my neck?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Or o' mine either?
Sir Toby Belch Shall I play my freedom at traytrip, and become thy bond-slave?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I' faith, or I either?
Sir Toby Belch To the gates of Tartar, thou most excellent devil of wit!
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I'll make one too.

22 speeches

Rehearse this scene 4 speeches
Viola And you, sir.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Dieu vous garde, monsieur.
Viola Et vous aussi; votre serviteur.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I hope, sir, you are; and I am yours.
Viola Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours on you!
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. That youth's a rare courtier: 'Rain odours;' well.
Viola My matter hath no voice, to your own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. 'Odours,' 'pregnant' and 'vouchsafed:' I'll get 'em all three all ready.

Rehearse this scene 7 speeches
First line of the scene
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.
Fabian You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the count's serving-man than ever she bestowed upon me; I saw't i' the orchard.
Sir Toby Belch Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me that.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. As plain as I see you now.
Fabian This was a great argument of love in her toward you.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. 'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?
Fabian This was looked for at your hand, and this was balked: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valour or policy.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. An't be any way, it must be with valour; for policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.
Fabian There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?
Sir Toby Belch Let there be gall enough in thy ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter: about it.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Where shall I find you?

Rehearse this scene 11 speeches
Fabian More matter for a May morning.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Here is the challenge, read it: I warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Fabian Is't so saucy?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read.
Fabian More matter for a May morning.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Here's the challenge, read it: warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Fabian Is't so saucy?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read.
Sir Toby Belch Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner the orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away!
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Nay, let me alone for swearing.
Sir Toby Belch Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a firago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard and all, and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say he has been fencer to the Sophy.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.
Sir Toby Belch Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.
Sir Toby Belch Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Pray God, he keep his oath!
Viola Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily and reins well.
Fabian A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. 'Slid, I'll him again and beat him.
Sir Toby Belch Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. An I do not,--

2 speeches

Rehearse this scene 2 speeches
Clown By my troth, thou hast an open hand. These wise men that give fools money get themselves a good report--after fourteen years' purchase.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you.
Sir Toby Belch Come on, sir; hold.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. Nay, let him alone: I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that.

6 speeches

Rehearse this scene 6 speeches
Olivia O, do not swear! Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. For the love of God, a surgeon! Send one presently to Sir Toby.
Olivia What's the matter?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. He has broke my head across and has given Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of God, your help! I had rather than forty pound I were at home.
Olivia Who has done this, Sir Andrew?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate.
Duke Orsino My gentleman, Cesario?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. 'Od's lifelings, here he is! You broke my head for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by Sir Toby.
Viola Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you: You drew your sword upon me without cause; But I bespoke you fair, and hurt you not.
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me: I think you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb.
Here comes Sir Toby halting; you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you othergates than he did.
Olivia Away with him! Who hath made this havoc with them?
Sir Andrew
Sir Andrew. I'll help you, Sir Toby, because well be dressed together.