Escalus ([Aside]) Well, heaven forgive him! and forgive us all! Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall: Some run from brakes of ice, and answer none: And some condemned for a fault alone.
Elbow
Elbow. Come, bring them away: if these be good people in a commonweal that do nothing but use their abuses in common houses, I know no law: bring them away.
Angelo How now, sir! What's your name? and what's the matter?
Elbow
Elbow. If it Please your honour, I am the poor duke's constable, and my name is Elbow: I do lean upon justice, sir, and do bring in here before your good honour two notorious benefactors.
Angelo Benefactors? Well; what benefactors are they? are they not malefactors?
Elbow
Elbow. If it? please your honour, I know not well what they are: but precise villains they are, that I am sure of; and void of all profanation in the world that good Christians ought to have.
Angelo What are you, sir?
Elbow
Elbow. He, sir! a tapster, sir; parcel-bawd; one that serves a bad woman; whose house, sir, was, as they say, plucked down in the suburbs; and now she professes a hot-house, which, I think, is a very ill house too.
Escalus How know you that?
Elbow
Elbow. My wife, sir, whom I detest before heaven and your honour,--
Escalus How? thy wife?
Elbow
Elbow. Ay, sir; whom, I thank heaven, is an honest woman,--
Escalus Dost thou detest her therefore?
Elbow
Elbow. I say, sir, I will detest myself also, as well as she, that this house, if it be not a bawd's house, it is pity of her life, for it is a naughty house.
Escalus How dost thou know that, constable?
Elbow
Elbow. Marry, sir, by my wife; who, if she had been a woman cardinally given, might have been accused in fornication, adultery, and all uncleanliness there.
Escalus By the woman's means?
Elbow
Elbow. Ay, sir, by Mistress Overdone's means: but as she spit in his face, so she defied him.
Pompey Sir, if it please your honour, this is not so.
Elbow
Elbow. Prove it before these varlets here, thou honourable man; prove it.
Pompey Once, sir? there was nothing done to her once.
Elbow
Elbow. I beseech you, sir, ask him what this man did to my wife.
Escalus He's in the right. Constable, what say you to it?
Elbow
Elbow. First, an it like you, the house is a respected house; next, this is a respected fellow; and his mistress is a respected woman.
Pompey By this hand, sir, his wife is a more respected person than any of us all.
Elbow
Elbow. Varlet, thou liest; thou liest, wicked varlet! the time has yet to come that she was ever respected with man, woman, or child.
Escalus Which is the wiser here? Justice or Iniquity? Is this true?
Elbow
Elbow. O thou caitiff! O thou varlet! O thou wicked Hannibal! I respected with her before I was married to her! If ever I was respected with her, or she with me, let not your worship think me the poor duke's officer. Prove this, thou wicked Hannibal, or I'll have mine action of battery on thee.
Escalus If he took you a box o' the ear, you might have your action of slander too.
Elbow
Elbow. Marry, I thank your good worship for it. What is your worship's pleasure I shall do with this wicked caitiff?
Escalus Truly, officer, because he hath some offences in him that thou wouldst discover if thou couldst, let him continue in his courses till thou knowest what they are.
Elbow
Elbow. Marry, I thank your worship for it. Thou seest, thou wicked varlet, now, what's come upon thee: thou art to continue now, thou varlet; thou art to continue.
Escalus Come hither to me, Master Elbow; come hither, Master constable. How long have you been in this place of constable?
Elbow
Elbow. Seven year and a half, sir.
Escalus I thought, by your readiness in the office, you had continued in it some time. You say, seven years together?
Elbow
Escalus Alas, it hath been great pains to you. They do you wrong to put you so oft upon 't: are there not men in your ward sufficient to serve it?
Elbow
Elbow. Faith, sir, few of any wit in such matters: as they are chosen, they are glad to choose me for them; I do it for some piece of money, and go through with all.
Escalus Look you bring me in the names of some six or seven, the most sufficient of your parish.
Elbow
Elbow. To your worship's house, sir?